Working mom

In one week I officially go from mom to working mom. I know, I've always been a working mom, but this is really the end of me being with my boy everyday. Rationally, I know I have to go back to work and am looking forward to it. I have loved being with big guy. I treasure every new thing he did, every laugh, his smiles, when he figured out something, and even the though times, like driving to take naps. They were all experiences we needed to have.

I can't be with him all the time. In a few years (yikes) he'll go to school. Then off to college and then to adulthood. I can't be there for everything. And frankly, I have to work for our lifestyle. And I like my job. It's demanding, challenging, and honestly I think I do good there. Most of all, raising a child is hard work!

I know it won't be easier doing both of my jobs, but that is what I have to do, so why am I beating myself up? Probably because I feel like I should feel guilty. Like moms will judge me. So, I'm trying to be strong.

Here are my two big worries about the big guy. I think about his personality- he's funny, likes to laugh, perpetually happy, loves napping, loves eating, loves being the life of the party- meeting new people, enjoying new experiences - I really could go on forever. He is essentially a delicious blend of hubs and I. I worry about the argument of nurture vs nature. Would he be like this anyway, or is it because he has been with me so much? I worry that he won't be the same.

My second worry is that he'll think that I don't spend the day with him is because I don't love him. And this breaks my heart and has me crying everytime I admit it. I know rationally, he'll be fine with the nanny. He loves women and they love him right back. But in my heart, I still worry.